Finding the right therapist
When I talk to people who are going through the process of finding a therapist, or needing to switch to a new therapist, I try to reflect on what it was like when I was starting out and looking for a therapist.
Yes I know I was very young when I started out, and yes my parents did the part of finding a therapist, however I knew if it felt right, I knew if the therapist I was seeing was the right one for me.
Up until the time when I found my “forever” therapist Sandra I saw probably 5-8 different ones. Now I am not saying they were all bad before Sandra, but I knew they werent for me. To me when picking and finding a therapist, its almost like picking a car. And again I am not saying that a therapist is an object or has no feelings, but let me explain..
When you go to pick a car there are hundreds to choose them. Now most of them will get you from point A-to Point B. Most of them are safe, reliable, a little stylish, but finding that forver car there is a feeling. The feeling of comfort, the feeling of ease. When you sit behind that wheel you just feel as if you are 1 as if you are in the most comftorable spot in the world. That is how I felt when I was with Sandra.
So when people ask me about finding a therapist, how do they pick one, and how do they know they are going to the right one I reply:
You just know, you have this feeling of Ease and comfort. You feel like you are being pushed to better yourself, but not being pushed in a negative way. You feel that you are being heard and that there is a dialouge going. But most of all you have a feeling of ease and comfort, even during the uncomftorable times.
It is always ok to evaluate your “relationship” with your therapist. Just because you have been with someone for years, does not meen you have to stay with them forever. Sometimes relationships such as a therapist/client run their course and its time to move on which is ok. A good therapist understands that and knows when you both have come to the end of the road.
So when picking a therapist , know a few things (in my opinion):
It is ok to see a few before you pick one.
When you find the right one you will know.
Are you being pushed in a posotive way.
It is ok to move on from your current therapist to a new one.
Do you have a sense of ease and comfort even during the hard conversations.